An actual post on an actual Friday: progress! Buenos noches, good people and welcome back after a month long disappearance. Let's get right into it because, dear fan, *strokes your face* we've already wasted enough time.

Reading

A book I can't recall if I learned about off Booktube or random Goodreads meandering: "The Illumination" by Kevin Brockemeier.


It's difficult to go too far into a description of this book, so suffice it to say: the basic concept of the book is exceptional. One bright random day, the world changes. People are now able to view pain as light radiating out of people- broken bones, cancer, emotional pain, all of it is now actually visible in its differing intensities. Your resident R2D2 impersonator is not yet far enough into the book to give a recommendation, but if that base principle of it interests you as it did me, go right ahead.

Will Never Be Over

You are, of course, well aware of my eternal stanship of iZombie. Season two just came to a close with a two part finale that ripped. my. soul. out. You guys. 


Can I just say, as an (occasional) writer, the finale was a work of art. Human drama, effortless introduction of a new villain, plot twists, and of course serious ACTION- I was floored. 
Let it be known that my future cats will all be named after characters on this show, starting with Clive because ermergerd. Just, ermergerd, you guys. WHY ARE YOU NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW.

Plagued By

Geddit? 'cause the app is called "Plague Inc"? I'm here all week. 

Screenshot

There is nothing that can be said about this app that won't land you on a government watch-list, so just download the thing & try it on for size. You'll hate it, and me for recommending it, but you won't be able to stop playing it. Available for Android, Windows Phone and iOS here.

Alright my beautiful Martian potatoes, here's to a weekend filled with antiseptic and hope for a better life. Until next time, extreme kisses!
This is the week that started with good intentions but quickly got derailed by real life. Due to many, many adult responsibilities, your resident Harley Quinn impersonator has been getting home at sketchy hours and completely unable to work on my projects and update Le Blog. Therefore, here we are with Shawarmy goodness on a Saturday. Enjoy!

Reading

All The Birds in the Sky by Charlie Jane Anders. Having started seeing hype about this book late last year, I was beyond excited to finally get my hands on it and plunge headlong into the world described in the blurb. This brings to mind "The Rook", which I started solely on the basis of the world building and premise then got really into, which was what I was hoping would happen here. So far, I'm 87 pages in and I cannot say I'm a fan. Of course I'll persevere because even "Raising Stony Mayhall" started out a bit slow, but I am unfortunately, unenthused. Let's see.

All the Birds in the Sky

Living For

A metric tonne of motivational videos. This is precisely the kind of thing you wouldn't expect to work but as it turns out, they are profoundly useful in getting you off your tushie and into gear. I mean, wow. I have a couple saved in my YouTube Watch offline, but here's one of my favourites to listen to on those difficult mornings. Watch here!

All Gifs

Not Appropriately Using

My Stop Breathe Think app. Mid last year, I was under a stunning amount of new pressure and went looking for a meditation app to help get my head back on straight because as we've established, my solution to everything is to get an app. Global warming? Get an app that tells people to stop being jerks to the environment. Can't find a parking space? Find an app that motivates you to walk to school or work. It's really that simple. 

duh obviously angry stupid scott pilgrim vs the world

Anyway, with the slow easing of that mental stress, I fell off using the app. I honestly miss the zen bubble that came with being a daily user, and recognize the need to have your ish together even when there isn't one specific stresser so the goal for the last two weeks of Feb is to get back in that groove. Le app is available here for Android, iOS and online use. Getchu sooome.

Stop, Breathe & Think- screenshot

Righto, for extra strength late wrap ups and hopes for a better tomorrow, this has been your host, Magento's oldest child. Until next time, love and light, my beetles. 
Ohayo, reader-sama! For those of you wondering who would be doing a summary of the month in the second week of the next month, you have clearly not been here before and should applaud me for getting this done before August. #Slay

Beyonce Formation GIF

January basically went by in a messy blur and while I can barely account for what I got up to, I can say this: I finally got a new laptop! It took about a month of figuring out specs. going to the sole official Toshiba dealership in Nairobi, and running around to different resellers basically every Saturday of the month. That said, I have now been dragged into the 21st century (kicking, screaming and refusing to sell my old laptop for parts). We rocking, y'all.

On Goals

My 2016 goals, as listed here, have been a mixed bag. For the most part, I just straight forgot that I was supposed to be doing a lot of that stuff because I am only legally an adult and you should not let me take care of your pets. There's this app I had towards the end of last year, The Fabulous, and one of the things they were always harping about was keeping your goals in sight so everything you do is geared towards/done with the intention of achieving stuff. So, here's to reminding myself of this stuff on a day to day, with the help of another app called Rewire. Next month, we get started on dealing with my addiction to apps. Speaking of which...

Nike+ Training Club

There is nothing I can say to convince you to go download an app that has specialized work outs to cater to your individual goals, so suffice it to say I'm pleasantly surprised and a fan. See more about ze app here. I'm all about this, you guys. I have used it more than once! Getchu some, and we shall walk through the gates of Physical Fitness Valhalla together, as CHAMPIONS.


There's actually a ton more things that need to be said, but alas, my bedtime approaches and I have had nary a fistful of bacon and caramel popcorn for supper; I must exeunt stage left. The point of this was to let y'all know that technical issues sorted out, we are back to regular programming starting with a book review for your favourite segment, Monday like a sir.


Until then, my cinnamon challenge aficionados. Stay grateful for the reduction in evil penguin attacks across Nairobi (THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE) and for Feb, prepare to get schwiftyyyyy.
It is 02:00am on Saturday morning, of the week I decided to be getting to bed by 10:00pm, so here we are. A general update/shameless rambling thingie will be up tomorrow...well, today, therefore let us get crackalacking.

Reading

Presently, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. You guyyyyys. The first quarter has been spectacular but as we approach the halfway mark, the book is kind of losing me a little. This is likely because of the zombie fugue of exhaustion yours truly has existed in this entire week, and I fully intend to stay with the book to the bitter end.


Also recent reads: "Yes, Please" by AMy Poehler and "Rosemary's Baby" by Ira Levin, which you would know if you followed me on Twitter, you butt. These both deserve a full review, and I am now obligated to watch "Rosemary's Baby" under maritime law. We're doing this.

Watching 

The trailer for this horrifying upcoming movie, "You Before Me", based on an equally horrifying book that I just discovered. Can I just say, you lot are horrifying masochists.



Listen, I can categorically state that I will never, in this particular lifetime, WATCH THIS MOVIE OR READ THIS BOOK. I'm going to need someone who will to explain the appeal to me. Seriously. If you read Khaleed Hosseini books as well, I would genuinely like to understand why you would volunteer to have your feelings jerked around like that. Email me.

Listening to 

Throwback playlists from 2012/2013/2014. What ever did happen to Gotye, you guys? It's crazy how music can take you back to an exact moment years ago when you first heard it, then you compare your life then to your life now and think...I'm not doing too terribly. Like, my parents can be a little less ashamed of me now. It's a good feeling, people.


With that, we bring this session of almost timely Friday wrap-ups. Here's to finally getting to bed almost four hours later than intended. Sending you all love and light, my bananas. Until next time!
Sooooo, first regular post of 2016, habibis! Let's get right into it.

excitement

Sidebar: Listening to the Billboard Top 100 of 2nd January which is about 90% Justin Beiber and I'm mad about how much I like his new album. Anyway, I'm just now realizing I have yet to listen to Adele's "Hello" from beginning to end. Since last year, you guys. How is this possible. End sidebar.

Reading

All the things, as usual, but especially V.E. Schwab's "Vicious". Someone recommended this to me mid last year, though the synopsis put me off at the time. Like most of my life choices, the decision to finally pick this up was completely based on online hype. Booktube can pretty much talk you into anything, you guys. Be careful out there. Be safe.

safety gif
We care. romper

The book is going by pretty quickly and while I'm unlikely to do a proper review, this shall not be the last you hear of it. *thunder* *lightening bolts rip through your roof*

"Vicious" by V.E. Schwab

Also, met the 2015 Goodreads challenge, so 2016, here we go. To do a summary? Possibly. Stay tuned. 

Watching

The answer to this is also "Everything". Series are slowly coming back from December break, during which we were all starved of Matt Bomer's cheekbones (for dayzzz) and of course, STEVEN UNIVERSE.

steven universe gif

This show. You guys. There are no words that can do Steven Universe, but that has never stopped me before, so await a post! Honourable mention: "Fresh Off The Boat" which was binged on over the holidays since there was nothing else to watch. Get on ittttt.

Excited About

Shiny new hardware! As has been mentioned severally here and on the Twitters, my trusty laptop is crazy old. My Twitter also functions as a drafts folder for all the inspirational and heartwarming things I intend to share along the way.
I wisely decided to take my laptop with me on vacation in one of the coldest places in the country where it promptly decided not to even turn on. You guys. Back in the warmer climes of home, it starts up after a few false...starts but even a die-hard packrat  like me can accept that is time.

Therefore, ladies, gents, and ninja turtles, tomorrow I scour the shops for another Toshiba to be ride or die for until 2026. Fingers crossed for a new machine tomorrow (!!) but at the absolute worst, by end month.

Alrighty then, for rambling long stories that began as summaries, this has been Evey G. Live your best lives, monkeys. 'til next time.
Bon apres midi, y'all. It is 5 days past New Years and while you were all running around improving your lives and what not with resolutions, I was doing absolutely nothing of the sort until about 5 minutes ago.

What follows is therefore not a set of resolutions, but goals which I will achieve without necessarily setting a timeline to them. #Flawless
(NB: If this is the definition of a resolution, send me a notarized letter stating this so I can take this post down & come to your house to show you personally. Thank you.)

Resolutions

These are being listed here specifically to keep myself accountable for actually completing them. 'cause nobody ever lies on the internet. Let's get to it, then, shall we?

1. Actually finish my HTML5/CSS courses

My intermittent attempts to learn coding have generally been subject to inspiration from hacker movies and wandering on to the Skillcrush blog page, which is amazing. Scheduling my Codecademy modules has so far not been super successful either, but, BUT this year, I'm going to do one hour a week. This way, I'll be done by the time I'm 70 and I can ask our Lizard Overlords for permission to go online and update this post to read "Done".


2. Pick up on my contributing authoring

This one can actually be summed up as "Stop being a trash person".

3. Do a creative writing thingie

I'm not 100% clear on how to achieve this but basically, post my random writing online, platform to be decided. Maybe Wattpad?
Presently, all my writing stuff is concentrated on Jotterpad, the phone app. Fun fact- this is where I wrote my alternate ending/shameless fanfiction of Z. Rider's "Suckers".
What has two thumbs, a questionable sleep schedule and has had an incredible author read their fanfiction?

Liz Lemon This Moi
This moi! williesun

Have I talked about how super nice Z.Rider is on Twitter and email already? (Yes I have). In case I haven't (Yes, I have), allow me to do so now. Go follow her here and read her amazing books. Thaaaank youuu.

4. Actually wear my retainers

I'm writing this on the off chance that my orthodontist does really specific google searches for niche nonsense blogs. Hi, Doc!

5. Pick up on my graphic design stuff

I love how that sounded like I actually have a graphic design background or signed up for a class. None of that is true, FOR NOW.
A person with such a startlingly short attention span needs multiple creative outlets, you guys.
We can do this. We can crush it.


6. Stop neglecting my Coursera account

This is a twofer, filed under "Being a trash person" and "needing to keep my flighty mind occupied".
I find when I have nothing to stress about/challenge me, my mind goes to terrifying directions and I tend to fixate on things that push me back a few steps in my quest to become the ultimate tentacled hipster monster. Unfortunate. I intend, therefore, to direct my obsessive focus on more positive things this year.

Nicole Richie Positive Person gif
Indeed. giphy

7. Stay Inspired

Read, watch, listen to or otherwise telepathically beam great things directly into my brain. You know the books you read that leave you awed and kind of upset that you weren't the one to write them?
Those do a great job of getting me all fired up to write for at least a good week afterwards. Memoirs like Felicia Day's or Sophia Amoruso's, books geared towards giving you a deeper understanding of the world and yourself (hi, Johann Hari and Marshall Goldsmith), I'm about them all. Allllll.
Same goes for your basic motivational videos on YouTube, incredible TED talks like this one by Dame Stephanie Shirley and of course, booktubers out here killing it.
Basically, my goal is to do something once a week to keep my batteries charge and never succumb to boredom or apathy. *national anthem plays in the background*

Alright then. This was the last such random post that had nothing to do with nothing. Regularly scheduled programming shall resume on Friday with *excited gasp* a Weekly Shawarma!
For the opposite of resolutions and actually getting things done like a grown-ass, grown ass person, 'tis I, Lunar Queen Evey. Mwah!
The title, much like the concept of rational thought, has nothing to do with this post. Buenos noches, my spambots and Eastern European otakus, you have all been missed.

#Goals

The first post of 2016 is pretty much a "Hello from the other side" kind of thing (#BadumTss #TimelyReference) without much meat or substance. I am simply here to share the fact that we are back, promise posts you will never actually see and start a support group for those of us eagerly waiting on the next season of Tokyo Ghoul.


You guys. We need hugs.
For nonsense, taller nonsense and nonsense in Russian, 'tis I, Evey G. Happy 2016!