5 Things You'll Love About The Golem & The Jinni

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I sincerely doubt any other articles have been as pushed forward as the book reviews promised ages ago. The simplest explanation: how can you possibly do a writer’s words, what they painstakingly crafted, any further justice without utterly corrupting the source material into an unrecognizable pile of SRSLY?

Still beefing. moarpowah

Short answer: you don’t. You speak your opinion and hope whoever is reading the review is cool with spoilers and agrees with you because all other points of view are wrong & you’re the only one that really gets the author.
Please proceed to the 5 things you'll enjoy the most in the book, below:

1.       The Story
At its core, the story follows the traditional formula:

(Background/Introduction of characters) à (boy & girl meet) à (boy & girl get to digging each other)
     è (boy and girl are separate by obstacles) à (boy and girl overcome)

Wecker does a pretty admirable job of making you forget you’re essentially reading a rom com and subconsciously adding Catherine Hiegel’s face after every 3 female characters.

Or, worse. *adorkables internally* giphy

2.       The Characters
The Golem is the ultimate Mary Sue if you look closely enough, which we won’t, because we like this story and want it to prosper. More than anyone else, you’ll either identify with her or root for her the entirety of the story. Admittedly, having watched that Supernatural episode that featured a Golem messed with my ability to picture her as described but that’s my problem to be discussed with a therapist at a later date.
The Jinni is the consummate bad boy type in that way that falls on the right side of the line between charismatic & slap-a-dude that doesn’t actually happen ever at all anywhere. Capricious, lacking in general self-control, alladat. Ladies, when you wake up next to that alcoholic bad boy you married and begin to ask yourself why, this is it. This is why.

Worth it! ew.com

The supporting cast is lovely as well: from the respective ‘caretakers’ of our protagonists to even the major antagonist. Sure, the wizard guy is terrible and evil, but you have to kind of feel bad for him in this incarnation: he literally had no choice in the matter, being predestined to evil (granted, by his former lives, but still, dude had no chance). The Doctor haunted me well after I’d finished the book: to have been dealt such an ugly lot by virtue of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, then still be incredibly selfless at the end of the book. Not everyone and most certainly not me would have been so kind, courageous an all-around stand up person. You guys! *tears up*

3.       The Setting
History buff, here. I admit to greatly romanticizing the lost years when everyone wore hats and ladies dropped their kerchiefs and said “I do declare!” everywhere including ancient Egypt (these are listed as Queen Cleopatra’s first words), so this book was like a toned down glimpse into the fairy tale world I wish the late 1800s were like.
The setting, viewed with a cynical eye, is hella cliche: the two characters couldn't have been from more different cultures and backgrounds, a la Montagues and Capulets almost and ideally their paths needn't have crossed, but they do because moving the story along and also TRUE LOVE.
The descriptions of everything are spot on and merge nicely with the Gossip Girl New York map engraved in my brain to create an immersive backdrop to the central story. The descriptions of the work, the cafes, the culture, 10,000% history pr0n and I love it. Loved it, I say!

*is reduced to tears by swag overdose* 100megspop3

4.       The Writing
The writing style is super light and easy to read. The week it took me to finish this book (I’m actually busy, particularly when I’m avoiding things I’m actually meant to be doing) was the one week in the history of EARTH that I didn’t once switch on the internet on my phone. At all. Any free moment I had to be with my baby, I was on my e-reader.
It’s a great read with the tones you’d expect of each character coming out very clearly any making them that much more relatable.

5.       The Movie Potential
Don’t get it twisted: I most certainly do NOT want this to be turned into a movie. Really. Everyone can do without Jennifer Lawrence as the Golem and one of those One Direction chirruns as the Jinni. Making this book a movie also means we lose the internal monologues of each character, which can only cheapen the deeply nuanced story: most movie adaptations can do absolutely no justice to the source material.

STILL. BEEFING. moarpowah

If it WAS to be made, however, can’t you just picture it? Indulge me for a second: period pieces with the proper financial muscle behind them make for the most breathtaking visual experience in cinema. Exhibit everything: The Great Gatsby.
I loathe me some Daisy Buchanan but good heavens the sets! The clothing! The music! I’m learning Arabic just thinking about it. Even with this possibility, I do still hope Hollywood goes nowhere near this book, or if they do, appoint Michael Bay…to make sure the Golem explodes upon completion, taking out the Earth and everyone in it. *closing credits* It is the only way.

Final Score
Final score, if you hadn't guessed it, is 9,000 stars out of 5. For script-writing, romantic novels and delayed reviews, ‘tis I, Evey G. Have a good one.


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