So. After years of watching of watching convention things on tv and seeing amazing cosplay online, you've decided to take the plunge and attend one yourself. Uno problema: you have no idea what costume to wear. Since we love you and want you to be happy while not bringing our names up during your trial, here a few ideas that should send in the right direction for your perfect costume. Let's get to it.

1. Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)

Pictured: Nothing Terrifying at All. 
1, 2, 3

This is especially perfect if you intend to take public transportation. Not only will the additional legs guarantee you maximum space without having to pay for the extra seat (hey, you're ok with sharing, it's everyone else that won't sit with you), if properly constructed, you have two new appendages with which to hold extra beers/vodka disguised as juice.

Bonus: Mr Crabs from Spongebob. 

2. Demon Hipster Chicks (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

#Flawless 
1, 2

Not only will absolutely no one know who you're supposed to be without the additional chicks, you will also look sonewhere between 'vaguely disturbing' and 'an actual hell creature'.
Who wants to talk to a hell creature? You'll get to say you attended NAICCON, take tons of pics for Insta AND not have to speak to anyone. The dream: you lives it.

3. Magnitude (Community)


Socially awkward, anxious or shy? Still crave human interaction? We gotchu.
If you want to talk to people but generally have nothing to say, Magnitude's trademark catch phrase helps you tick all the boxes AND be the most intersting person in the room. Pop pop, gents, pop pop.

4. The Cabbage Merchant (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Meanwhile, at Fashion Week 2017
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Think of the props! Admittedly, running around in what amounts to wizarding robes, yelling "My cabbages" might...get you committed to a mental institution, BUT, but. It might also spawn a religion around your legend of sheer awesome. You'll never know until you try.

5. Cheryl Tunt (Archer)

Because we care.
1, 2, 3

Aside from finally realizing your dream of being a redhead, Cheryl also gives you the best out: everyone will EXPECT you to show up very high on paper glue and/or start a small fire.
Failure to do so will be breaking character so you're kind of obligated here, we don't make the rules.
Is your local firebrigade made up entirely of underwear models? Find out, with this simple choice that we are not legally liable for.
This costume is, of course, unisex.

6. A Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin)

I am beautiful, no matter what you say...
1, 2

If your priority is a simple, easy cosplay, this right here is the ultimate.
We've previously discussed the fashion merits of SNK but here, we go down to bare bones.

All you'll need here is:
-Flesh coloured underwear
End of list.

Should you be inspired to go as the Female, Colossal or Armoured Titan, a simple stick of chalk will suffice to draw on the muscles & ligaments necessary. Alternatively, start dating your local butcher now & gain their trust so that when you're ready, you'll be able to go full level 9,000:

This could be us, but...
1, 2
Now, wasn't that easy?

Here's to attending the inevitable meet cute at NAICCON 2015 where you accidentally bump into me, I smile sweetly, extend my hand and whisper, "MY CABBAGES".
Stay conventionally attractive, folks.


Captain Holt Burning

The thing about being a reader, and being known as one, is that people always try to get you to read their personal faves. Maybe they want to find common ground to talk about with your introverted self, maybe they want you to join their particular cult- these things cannot be known.

What is known, however, is that I generally tend to look up and act upon majority of the recommendations that come way...aside from the self improvement, self help type tomes. Today though, this changes. THE WORLD CHANGES.

After hearing enough "this book will shift the way you understand the universe/it did so much for me/I got a tattoo of the author's hairline after reading", I have decided to bite the bullet, and you're coming with me.
To madness, sirs!
1. "A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy" 
Miyamoto Musashi (translator - Victor Harris)

book of five rings miyamoto musashi
Feedbooks where you can actually legally download the book

 The exact quote that came with this recommendation was "Hey, you're into all that ninja cartoon stuff, right?", referring to my anime fandom, otaku stylings and general fangirling. Which, I mean...

This book is allegedly by an ancient Samurai (suspicious) and remains relevant to date. Let's see.


2. "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" 

Charles Duhigg

Power of Habit Charles Duhigg
Retreat by Random House

This was recommended by a fellow scholar of human psychology, which is to say another person that enjoys endless navel-gazing and deciding we're special snowflakes as much as I do. So, the best. 
I've actually gone through more than half the book thus far and picked up some pointers that SHOULD be obvious but that I'm betting you hadn't thought of either, with the added benefit of cutesy diagrams.

cue habit reward
Goodreads

Fear not, it isn't another "You is strong, you is kind" get over your addiction book: I was pleasantly surprised to find myself noting some patterns in the day to day as simplified in the book, and now I'm a much better person for it, and am receiving a "Best Person Ever" award from Obama in 2 weeks.

Con: Either my attention span is garbage (yes) or at some point the book lost the plot and diverted into less practical, applicable concepts. I am yet to finish it and probably won't, but the first 3/4 of it was a revelation. Go read. 

3.  "Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...and Others Don't" 
Jim Collins
Good to Great Jim Collins

 This is a business-based book that allegedly has insights that are applicable on a personal level, recommended to me by a person I'm 30% sure roleplays Marty Khan every Tuesday and Thursday, and that's ok.

So far, I am two chapters deep and while the first one was a tad too...businessy for me (shut up) Chapter 2 is shaping up fairly well so far. I shall soldier on, as should you.

4. "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"
Miguel Ruiz

four agreements ruiz
Rising Above

Recommended by a spiritual enlightenment new-agey 2015 hippie, this book is HIGHLY suspect. 
I managed to crack open the first couple of pages and found some vague introduction about an ancient group of wisemen spiritualist types? 

bye felicia gif

One day, when there's a power blackout and I have enough wine, I will read this book in its entirety. One day.

5. "The 33 Strategies of War" 
Robert Greene

 I should be worried that people keep recommending all these psychopath-adjacent books, right? Like, there has to be something being hinted at? Y'all ain't sh*t, btw.

33 strategies of war robert greene

From the author of "The 48 Laws of Power" comes this book that I'll eventually read and figure out how to survive World War 3/The Nuclear Apocalypse and punish you ALL when I'm the Global Anarchy Empress.

Khal Drogo gif
Like this, but with more pink. GOT Wikia

For sketchy recommendations that promise to make you better, this has been Evey G back from hiatus. Peeeeeeace!

So, we said we'd be back today and surprisingly, we are! Three cheers to ethics in game journ...er...in writing of blog things. Let's get to it, shall we? Previous shawarmy goodness can be found up in hurr.

 1. Reading

An uncharacteristic number of real life/psychology/self improvement books. I dunno guise, is this what growing up looks like? More likely, I am slowly being drafted into a cult. Let's find out which 3 years from now. It's a date now and you can't bail.

Present read. Goodreads

Expect a roundup of the recommendations I done got either Monday or Wednesday next week. Procrastinator promise.

2. Watching

"The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt". This isn't even a conversation (largely because there's a post on this sitting in the infamous Drafts folder). Stop everything you're doing and go watch. Everything. Even breathing. Especially breathing.


3. The Favour

This is equal parts you doing me a favour, me doing you a favour and you doing yourself a favour.

Sidebar - the American spelling is WRONG blogger! There is a 'u'!! - End Sidebar

Open your browser, go to Very Smart Brothas and add that ish as a bookmark because that site will give you LIFE. Current affairs, personal stories and black America issues are great (and beautifully written) but you KNOW I'm about to recommend the Love and Hip Hop recaps. Shamira Ibrahim is an intergalactic treasure and the comments section is always pure. gold. Get you some.


Three cheers to the internet and a wonderful weekend to you all. *flies away on broomstick*

That is all.

Stuff and things are happening! February was a most excellent month for new releases, and if you missed them, I gotchu. If you read the January version (and if you didn't, why not? Why would you hurt me like this?) then you already know what's going on. Let's get right into it.


1. "Suckers" by Z. Rider

I'm generally not one for horror, but this book, yo. You should most definitely read an excerpt of chapter one HERE, but first, find a Frankensteined synopsis from the actual below:

WHEN WORN-OUT MUSICIAN DAN FERRY decides to take a shortcut back to the band's hotel, he picks the wrong dark alley to go down...
Now, terrified of what will happen if he doesn't get his fix--and terrified of what he'll do to get it--he turns to his best friend and bandmate, Ray Ford, for help. But what the two don't know as they try to keep Dan's situation quiet is that the parasite driving Dan's addiction to human blood has the potential to wipe out humankind. 

Why yes, I would sell my soul for a copy, why do you ask? #Epic

2.  "Trigger Warning" by Neil Gaiman (Short Stories)

Ok, yes, selected mainly on the strength of Gaiman's rock star name, WHATEVER only my personal deity, Chantal Biya, can judge me. Full synopsis available here, but the most relevant part:

Trigger Warning explores the masks we all wear and the people we are beneath them to reveal our vulnerabilities and our truest selves. Here is a rich cornucopia of horror and ghosts stories, science fiction and fairy tales, fabulism and poetry that explore the realm of experience and emotion.

3. "The Mauraders: A Novel" by Tom Cooper

Goodreads

No synopsis summary I sketch together can possibly do this any justice. Find a snippet from the official summary (available here) below:

When the BP oil spill devastates the Gulf coast, those who made a living by shrimping find themselves in dire straits. For the oddballs and lowlifes who inhabit the sleepy, working class bayou town of Jeannette,  these desperate circumstances serve as the catalyst that pushes them to enact whatever risky schemes they can dream up to reverse their fortunes. At the center of it all is Gus Lindquist, a pill-addicted, one armed treasure hunter obsessed with finding the lost treasure of pirate Jean Lafitte.

4. "Second Life" by S.J. Watson

Goodreads

I kid you not, the actual description:

She loves her husband. She's obsessed by a stranger.

She's a devoted mother. She's prepared to lose everything.

She knows what she's doing. She's out of control.

She's innocent. She's guilty as sin.

She's living two lives. She might lose both . . .


 I mean, right? When a book is playing hard to get from the start, you kinda have to. Your friendly neighbourhood Procrastinator has had a peek at the synopsis and it has a nice dark undercurrent about addiction, murder, mystery and salt and pepper to taste. Y'all. We're reading this.

Speaking of books that have been read, Feb was a strange, strange month of random reads. 

The Forever Watch - David Ramirez
We Are All Completely Fine - Daryl Gregory
Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
The Girl on The Train - Paula Hawkins

If you're on Insta, Goodreads, or just really good at keeping up with Le Shawarma (yay you!), you've seen these books mentioned. Since I've been pretty good about doing reviews this month (I accept "Congratulations" wine on Tuesdays), you can expect to see most of these up in the course of March. You now have a reason to keep living.

Dass it for Feb in Books, I have been your host, Evey G. Stay awesome, folks!

the-house-of-anubis.wikia

Since I'm typing this first sentence at 6 minutes to midnight, it technically counts as a Friday post and there's nothing you can do about it.
So. This week. Let's get to it, no?

1. Watching
Empire. You guys. Guys. LOL. From the way the show has been hyped on/by Twitter , Buzzfeed, the chimera that lives under your bed, and the entire internet at large, it was only a matter of time before your friendly neighbourhood Lazy Bishhh High Priestess was sucked in. Also, gifs. Sooo many gifs.


Having watched the first episode, my summary would read thusly:
"hahahahahahahahha *gasps* ahahahahahaha *is carted away by men in white coats*".

Basically, if La Usurpadora had a baby with Love and Hip Hop: ATL, this would be it and I can't say I hate it. It's ratings gold so far, so opinion withheld pending binge viewing of all episodes involved. 

2. Reading

Absolutely nothing. Yo. After the mental and eventually emotional drain "The Forever Watch" pulled on my faculties? Mama needs a breather. The book itself is not bad, but there are some things Ramirez attempts that...well. Suffice it to say I've spent the last few days in the hospital for injuries related to violently rolling my eyes.
There's only so much WTF you can pack into one month. Consider yourself also granted a reading sabbatical until Sunday, March 1st, because all must obey The Queen.
...the Queen is me, there. I was referring to myself.

wikia

3. Listening To

Ne-yo. Bruh finally went and decided to drop his next album a literal month ago and I was none the wiser. I know, I am literally the worst long distance girlfriend, but I'm still here for you boo! As I'm still working my way through the tracklist, I cannot as yet proclaim that this is all you need to listen to if you want to achieve immortality (even though it's probably true). I can, however, recommend "Congratulations" which is centered on a theme Ne yo is worryingly into. Alas, i couldn't find it on SoundCloud so the YouTube audio/cover art is below. I think each track has a different woman as the art? To be investigated.


It is decently past midnight and I have "Stalker" open in the next tab, let's get right to it.

1. Reading

"The Forever Watch" by David Ramirez. This book. After acres of blackmailing, wheedling and cat kidnapping, I finally got my hands on this book and started it with stars in my eyes. About 200 pages in and.... Well. Maybe, much like pretty much everything Kanye has done lately, I am simply not sophissicaided enough to grasp it. Idk, guys, idk. Further verdict to be passed upon completion.



2. Attempting

To tweeze my own eyebrows. The guy that usually does them (Hi, Wesh) is excellent at it, but he's also perfectionist and I happen to be feeling the "woolly caterpillar" look at the moment.
Armed with every YouTube tutorial I could find, what could go wrong?

Hey  boo, hey.

3. Watching

The Amazing World of Gumball, season 3. Because every children's cartoon deserves a scene where the cat protagonist wants to sell his nipples (to afford movie tickets) and his goldfish bestfriend asks him why he would want to give up the ability to make cheese. 

Because that's exactly how mammals work. gifsoup

If you don't already, you seriously, SERIOUSLY need to start watching this show. Now, my paused episode of "Stalker" awaits, I must leave you. Hugs, kisses and great weekend wishes, folks.