On Apologies and Easter Laziness

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Salutations friends, foes and hate-readers who just can't quit me. The Easter holiday has lent (lended?) itself to sloth, finding this reporter clad in pajamas and fabulously unkempt hair *adjusts reading glasses*. In search of inspiration, I flung open the Evey Archives and unearthed a piece from last year.

with my teddy bear and a few friends, casually hanging out. bodybuilding

If you'll remember, there was a Kwani Trust event set up last year for incredible Kenyan author Binyavanga Wainaina to launch his book and have a wee meet and greet with his fans. Naturally, this was an event that I couldn't miss. The following is a satirical item I wrote about trying to find someone to drag along with me, titled "aaaaand Scene!". Hark!


 The following is my impression of a highly self-involved young lady in pursuit of any opportunity to self aggrandize. Enjoy.

There is to be a book launch at Nairobi Railways Museum on Friday at 6:30pm; seeing as how I missed the Africa Yoga Project stop-over I was so looking forward to, to let this pass me by would be punishable by guillotine, much like my kindred spirit in spoilt, self-involved antics, Marie Antoinette.

In my quest for literary fulfillment, I find that no person in my now humble phonebook has been deemed....I shall use 'worthy' for lack of a better term, to accompany me to this event. If I'm to be honest (with myself) this book launch is more than just an opportunity to flex my snob muscles or feed into my esoteric tendencies; it's my phoenix moment. The singular point in time when I salvage what is left of the admirable ingénue in the old Hollywood film of my life. As played by Debbie Reynolds of course, Hepburn et al are just so played out, and I've always thought I'd be a vision in red hair.

As such, I have elected to grace the Nairobi literati with my presence unmarred by the companionship of the philistines who I regretfully call...my "friends".

*theatrical sigh & walk across the room to a window*

....Non monsieur, let the provincial fools carry on with their calls for bread: I choose to indulge in my cake, even though it means I shall dine *close-up shot* ...alone. I must face the flames...if I am to be reborn. I fear I must bring this correspondence to an end; I leave you with the immortal words uttered by many a girl in my position; facing a first date (with myself):
"omgomgomgomg what am i gonna WEAR!"
-Every Girl Ever

There you have it, that is my offering for today. Tune in next time for more creative writing and/or whatever is on my mind that particular day. From we here at OHASZ, have an awesome Easter weekend.

mwah, mwah, m.WAH! pichaus


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