You called? avclub
Hej, good citizens of OHASZ, I bring you greetings from Denmark and a mini-rant that is long overdue. Anyone that knows me knows I am usually armed with at least two bottles of hand sanitizer and antiseptic wet wipes at any given time. If I could, I would bring sanitizing spray everywhere (if you know where I can get a can, I will pay you in Mars bars) and/or traverse our great city bedecked in the finest of bedazzled hazmat suits.
Serious offer. chocablog
While I freely admit that my methods may be a teensy, tiny, negligible bit...extreme, I stand by the spirit of my actions: the world is a filthy, terrible place and germs want to murder you specifically all day, every day.
Like this, but...more...germy. popkitten
One of the very few things that keeps me awake at night is the knowledge that mankind is slowly losing the antibiotics war, with bigger, badder bugs finding ever more imaginative means to destroy our lives. Should I spend hours in a day mentally picking out water-proof furniture for my -totally hypothetical and not at all in the planning stages- underground decontamination bunker? Probably not. Will I do so anyway? You know me too well.
My cool new jacket was on sale. invader-zero
Granted, myself and similarly-minded paranoia-junkies are a huge part of the problem: consistent abuse of sanitizing agents kills off some bacteria, leaving resistant superbugs more resources & less competition to multiply, as well as encouraging the advancment of bacteria evolution (of more effective defensive structures) that's just now coming to masticate us in the glutes. In my defense, however, I can and I'm gonna, because germs are icky and people are gross.
Unlike our more debonair porcine friends. arcan7
Also playing a major role in this grotesque tableau are the wonderful citizens who misuse antibiotic medication: you know who you are, dude who only took three of the five pills prescribed. While science has made advancements towards finding a way to defend ourselves, we are still in a world of trouble.
Also in the market for a jet pack.
Reasons to Fear Invisible Assassins lurking in your fingernails aside, I still feel the need to sanitize my hands after touching a doorknob in a high-traffic area for the most mundane of reasons: I don't want to get sick. The dude with the flu who's sneezed into his hands all morning? He touched it. And so did a whole lot of people with more horrifying back-stories to their individual germs. Touching well worn money is a traumatic experience in itself that I choose not to think about today or ever, so I sanitize. I sanitize and hope old age takes me before flesh-eating bacteria grow thumbs.
If you just read this and thought: "woah, that is totally me! I mean, the author is clearly a nutjob but I totally relate!", I offer you an internet hug, and the address of a medical supply shop which requires no background check, email me. In conclusion, ladies and gents, that tiny mark on your arm that you can't remember getting? It has begun.
Dun dun duuuuun. WxvzVuE
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